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We are not going to find freedom from our sexual struggles if we stay isolated. There are no Han Solos. There are no Lone Rangers when it comes to the sexual purity journey. We need others to get pure and stay pure.
On this episode of the Top Tips for Sexual purity podcast I want to go through a few reasons why our purity journey has to involve others.
Sexual sin is much stronger than you
We want to manage it on our own. It’s impossible. You can make some strides. I’ve talked to several people that were able to change their behaviors for a lengthy period of time.
That’s great! Maybe your sexual sins don’t have as strong a grip on you. But can you do it long term? No. You won’t be able to. You can deal with the behaviors, but you’re not smart enough to deal with the behaviors behind it. That’s where we get into God territory.
The Bible is full of community
What does the bible say about “one another”? There are so many of these verses. We can’t get free from sexual addiction without community. Most of the time, God is going to use others to speak His voice. Yes, we’ll be able to hear His voice. But it’s down on the journey before you will be able to hear from Him on a regular basis.
James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Healing comes from confessing to one another
Galatians 6:1-2
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Restoration comes from submitting to one another and depending on one another.
Genesis 2:18
18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
But God has built us for one another. I will make him a helper suitable for him.” That’s not just Adam and Eve or for the married, it’s a principle of connectedness for all of us. Satisfaction comes in connecting with others. Discipleship, support, counsel, guidance, love, grace comes from connection.
We’re built for connection. This is our true hardwiring.
You probably have trouble hearing God’s voice
I’ll talk about this more in the next episode of Top Tips. I found that I lost my sensitivity to the voice of God. Yes, God still spoke, but most of the times it was with loud, strong messages. I found that I was not able to hear the still, small, quiet voice of God again.
My heart was too restless. I was in great pain. The consequences weighed me down. All I could think about was the pain.
I was also incredibly selfish.
It’s not me in my room trying to read my bible, trying to journal, trying to hear God. It’s much, much harder in the early stages of SA recovery.
Victory is a training process
The main way we’re going to hear from God is through other people. This is the big point. It’s because recovery is a discipleship process. It requires a learner and a school of teachers. It’s an area that we’ve been broken in, messed up in. We need others to train us.
Isolation has become normal for us
We want to hear from God and then maybe we’ll get around other people. We really want to hear from God so we can do it ourselves.
We feel so much shame in our sexual addiction that we want to keep hiding.
Connection is scary for most of us
For those of us with sexual addiction, connecting with others is so scary. It’s hard for us. We don’t want to do this. We want to isolate. We think that we’re not wired for it.
We don’t realize that we’re getting an “F” when it comes to social connectedneess and relational connectedness. God has wired us for connection. We are deficient. We’re so used to the isolation that we think that’s normal. We think that’s who we are. We think we are introverted.
Some of us are introverted in our personality, but God’s universal design is that we all need connection. It’s hardwired in us. It trumps any personality type.
God has multiple arms, legs and mouths
Other people are also a source of truth. God speaks His truth through others. We need to get in atmospheres of truth is another Top Tip. God’s arms and legs and mouth are other spiritual people. We will hear truth. We will have others that can look at our life objectively. We will have others showing the grace and love that God has been trying to communicate to us.
It doesn’t mean that everyone we talk to will have God’s wisdom or be spiritual.
I’ve been surprised in my 4 ½ years of recovery that God speaks to me more in community than He does in private. The stories they share. The words they have.
He’s given us many who have been through it and have expertise, ministers, counselors, wives, best friends.
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101 – come out of isolation and tell someone about your struggles
Beyond – forging relationships, submitting to one another, confessing, sharing our burdens
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