On p.11 of the manual he offers a great list showing the progression from Lust to Adultery. His point is we don’t suddenly commit adultery. There are small, intermediate steps that point the way.
- Objectifying a person
- Public visual lust
- Private narrative lust – sexual and / or romantic fantasy in my mind
- Soft porn – TV, catalogs, etc.
- Full porn – nudity
- Interactions with a real, anonymous person
- Emotional relationship with a known person without touch
- Emotional affair with touch, without sex
- One time sexual affair
- Affair in connected relationship
- Affair with pseudo-spouse / leaving – seeking to dissolve the marriage
In my own recovery, I need to be aware of these areas. I have already crossed the boundaries on some of them. I need to include them in my purity strategy. I need a good plan for working on lust, objectification, soft porn etc.
There are others I have not committed in my body, but in my mind. They move into the fantasy world. I shared with our purity group my specific struggles. I also recognize in myself that I sometimes believe the lie that I was missing out by not experimenting more sexually in my adolescent and college days.
In my purity strategy, I need to make sure my mind dwells on healthy, godly dreams, instead of unhealthy, adulterous thoughts.