Four Jobs of an Accountability Partner

by Jeff Fisher on May 13, 2013

We are working on a podcast and a series of blog on accountability. A major part of sexual recovery is having good accountability, whether from an individual, a group, a minister, or a counselor.

We wanted to share four key jobs every good accountability partner has:

cheerCHEER – The person in recovery needs to know that they are not alone. Someone is on their side. Someone is rooting for them. Not just from the sidelines, but right in the war with him. The cheerleader encourages, but is always genuine in his encouragement. He doesn’t say “good job” if it’s not merited. But he always says, “You can get there. With God’s help, you can do it!”

 

ChallengeCHALLENGE – The addict will plateau at times and settle in to a comfortable level. The accountability partner is always challenging them. Putting the Big Picture of sexual purity, glorifying God, and healthy sexuality in front of them. The accountability partner sees farther than where the addict is and challenges him to shoot higher. Challenge happens when there is positive momentum or plateauing.

 

confrontCONFRONT – Confrontation happens where there is negative momentum. When sin happens and failures happens they need to be addressed. When an addict is hardening his heart or not willing to take the next step the accountability partner needs to take the role of confronting them. When the addicts behavior is hurting others, it must be confronted. Confession and repentance are the right responses to confrontation.

 

encourageCOMFORT – The recovery process is full of hurts, wounds, disappointments, failures, and consequences. The recovering person needs an arm around him when times are tough. He needs someone who understands where he is at and just sits with him. Prays for him. Cries with him. Supports him. Cares.

An accountability partner can be an ear to hear venting. Sometimes he needs needs to pray for him. Sometimes he just needs to show that he cares with a phone call.

The grief process can be tremendous for the addict. The consequences can sometimes seem unbearable. This is where an accountability partner can be a big help.

 

WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Q: What would you add to our list? (it doesn’t have to start with a “C”)
Q: What other jobs or roles does an accountability partner have?

Q: What else has been helpful in your accountability process?

porntopurity@gmail.com  or leave a comment on the blog

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Castimonia May 14, 2013 at 10:01 am

Confronting is one of the most difficult tasks. We lost an accountability group member for about 6 months because we had to confront him with his “acting out” and the denial he was in. He just recently came back to the group, praise Jesus.

Jeff Fisher May 17, 2013 at 6:59 am

Hey Castimonia – I think we do confronting badly most of the time. We’ve had bad examples in life and in churches. We need a lot more grace, love and patience. We also get angry pretty quickly when someone is not doing what WE think they should. But the truth is what sets us free. We must speak God’s truth to each other. We must speak it in love and seasoned with grace. The goal of confronting is repentance and to strengthen the relationships. You and your group are obviously doing some healthy things.

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