Bible Verses Great For Recovery

God’s Unconditional Love: Why Can’t We Accept It?

by Jeff Fisher on December 29, 2011

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By Guest Author:  Rick Langdon

Ephesians 3:18-19 … [that you] may have power … to grasp how wide and long and
high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge …

Why is it that we have so much trouble really understanding God’s love?

Intellectually, we can understand the biblical description of it, but I mean really grasp it profoundly in the depths of our souls … in a way that significantly affects the way we feel and the way we live? Partly because it “surpasses knowledge”.  How’s that?  J

DOES HUMAN LOVE = GOD’S LOVE?
Another reason we have trouble is that we are working from reasoning based on human love as we understand it.  At least in this realm we have some personal experience:  how we attempt to love others, why we tend to love certain others and how we ourselves have been loved or, too often, rejected.  So our experience says that people don’t love us unless we meet or exceed their expectations or they find something about us that is attractive.  Certainly it also tells us that this love is fragile … that we are always in jeopardy of losing it if we are found to be unworthy.

I DON’T SEE MYSELF AS LOVEABLE
This view is further reinforced by what we know about ourselves … we don’t see a whole lot in us to love.  So we put on masks and hide our true selves believing no one could possibly love us; not as we really are.  So we attempt to present or remake our self as someone deserving love, or at least admiration.

We project our human reasoning and experiences with love (or lack thereof) onto God and while we may say “God loves me”, we don’t really know this deep in our souls; we still live as if He may be like the last human being that tried to love us.

GOD IS DIFFERENT
But good news!  The Bible tells us God is different! (surprise!). He already knows everything about us, the bad and the ugly (notice I left out the good; “no not one” as it is written … J)  Yet, in spite of this He loves us, chose to redeem us, die for us on the cross, to forgive and reconcile us to Himself.  This is so hard to grasp because this love goes against our human experience in relationships.  We certainly didn’t live up to any great expectations here and we surely deserve something way different.

We all yearn for this unconditional love … someone who knows us perfectly and yet loves us anyway; without question or reservation.  Who could do this?  God alone.  But how?  Why?  Perplexing isn’t it.  It “surpasses knowledge”.

So how do we understand a love that “surpasses knowledge”?  Because it is beyond our human understanding, this must be a work of the Spirit. As Paul explains many times in his letters, these things come not from our own natural abilities, intellect or power, but only through the Spirit.  But why is this understanding so important?

DON’T BELIEVE THE LIES OF THE ENEMY
In order to live an abundant life we must begin to reject the things that the enemy tells us, the things our own hearts tell us (deceitful above all things as they are) and start embracing that which God says is true of Himself, of us and of how He sees us in Christ (where there is no condemnation; none!).  As we begin to do this, not only will our lives be changed but we will glorify God in ways we never imagined.

The world longs to see God’s love in the real world, working itself out in real people (no masks).  But in order for His love to overflow to others, it has to begin with an overwhelming and deep abiding sense of His love within us.  A love that “surpasses knowledge”.

—

RECOMMENDED READING
Truefaced by Thrall/McNicol & Lynch
The Search for Significance by McGee)

Numb to the Voice of God

by Jeff Fisher on December 1, 2011

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erosion

 

 

 

An erosion takes place in our lives because of sexual sin.

Sexual sin slowly erodes our ability to hear God’s voice.

Many people who struggle with sexual purity are Christians and spiritual people.  We seek God, go to church, pray, and feel like we’ve let down God when we act out.  We try many times to stop our behaviors, but keep having trouble.

EARLY STRUGGLES
When we are first struggling with sexual sins, God’s Spirit is strong on our life telling us that our behaviors are wrong.  We may be reading the Bible actively and memorizing verses to help.  When we cross new lines, we feel the butterflies in our stomach telling us that this is not God’s path.

THE EROSIONvoice2
Erosion of our spiritual life always happens with sexual addiction.  Sometimes it is radical and immediate, especially if we cross a very large line.  But for most of us, the erosion is gradual.

We start hardening our hearts.  We keep turning our back on His warnings.  We convince ourselves that behaviors are OK.  We plunge more and more into acting out.  We start rationalizing our sin.  Minimizing our sin.  Then compartmentalizing our life.

COMPARTMENTALIZE
For guys it’s especially easy to compartmentalize.  We switch off some areas of our life and focus on others.  For addicts, we can function at work and home and push our secret sexual struggles and struggles with God out of our mind.  It’s a way of minimizing.

Before we know it, we stop hearing from God.  We stop having a vision for our lives.  Our prayers, bible reading and church going becomes a burden and futile.

JEFF’S EROSION
I was in the middle of ministry when my sexual sin escalated.  I was teaching, preaching, and training others up to follow God.  Yet my spiritual life was slowly eroding.  As I started to get deeper into my Internet usage, I struggled more and more with maintaining my secret.  I started lying to my wife and to others.  I started to isolate myself from people who might ask questions.

My times with God began to dry up.  My bible reading was a struggle.  Putting messages together was not easy.  I stopped hearing from the Lord.  I stopped having a vision for my own life, family, and church.

SOMETHING HAS TO BLOW IT UP
How do we start hearing from God again?  Something has to crack in our lives.  Either we get so sick of our life that we change something, or God gets so sick of our behavior that he pulls the plug and lets His discipline flow.   It usually takes a pounding and great loss to get our attention and turn us around.

voiceFINDING GOD’S VOICE AGAIN
This comes gradually.  We have to realize how far we have strayed.  We have to get a sense of the seriousness of our sins.  We have to spend some time crying out to God in repentance and surrender.

We need an influx of truth to help us find God’s voice again.  We have become deceived and have believed many lies that our behavior was somehow acceptable.  We have lost the fear and respect of God.

Counselors, support groups, and good mentors are very helpful in helping us find God’s voice again.  You can’t get there quickly.  You have spent a long time drifting away.  Let God use other people to help you find His voice again.  Let God use His truth to

Recovery from sexual addiction is working when you are actively hearing from the Lord again.

Q:  How’s God’s voice in your life?

Q:  Who do you have around you helping you to find God’s voice again?

–

porntopurity@gmail.com

@porntopurity on Twitter

Great Sermon – David and Bathsheeba – II Samuel 11

by Jeff Fisher on July 18, 2011

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A good friend of ours J.D. Greear preached a message earlier this year called “Self Destruction.”  It was part of his series on King David called Search For a King.  The message was from II Samuel 11 about David’s sin with Bathsheba.

J.D. is Senior Pastor of The Summit Church in Durham, NC.   In the message, he gives a great insights on the nature of sexual sin and the vulnerability of King David.  Here are some key points:

  • Sexual sin has brought down some of the strongest and best of people.
  • David was 1) Blessed,  2) Disengaged,  3) Was in a place where he could be tempted
  • The way to successfully resist the enticements of this world is to be busy with a higher purpose.
  • Unconfessed sin changes you. Everybody sins. People who cover it up destroy themselves.
  • J.D. shares his personal consequence list of the harm that would ensue if he committed adultery.  A great motivator.

Give it a listen!

LINK TO THE SERMON Video and Audio

DOWNLOAD THE SERMON PDF

My Response to “Perfect Week” Guy

by Jeff Fisher on June 9, 2011

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I want to address the guy in support group that says

“I had a great week.”
“I didn’t have any problems this week.”
“I didn’t have any struggles.”

I have two responses for this guy with two corresponding hats.

MY CHEERLEADER HAT
My initial response is, “Good for you!”  Way to go, dude!  You’re doing the right things and can come into men’s group and rock a 10!

Part of me is the cheerleader.

Hey, I want the guys in my group to do well.  Who doesn’t?  I want them to hit a homerun every week.  I want them walking on water in the next 6 months.

 

MY REFERREE HAT
There’s another part of me that wants to blow the whistle and call this guy out.  You mean to tell me you had a perfect week?  You had no struggles with sin?  You had no arguments with your wife?  You responded to every temptation that came your way with a “Jesus Kung-Fu fist”?

If that’s the case, sign me up for a private lesson.

 

UPS AND DOWNS ARE NORMAL
Every one of us that is engaged in the journey toward sexual purity is going to have downs and ups.  We are going to have crappy weeks and we are going to have good weeks.  Some weeks have less struggle and some are full of “white knuckle” days and failure.

It’s the norm.  It’s the ebb & flow of the recovery journey.

 

LOOK BACK AT ROMANS 7:15
After Jesus, if there is anyone who would have the perfect week it has to be Paul.  The Apostle Paul with the super “P” on his chest.  The “Pharisee of Pharisees” turned “Christian of Christians”.   I mean, Abraham, Moses, Elijah, Jesus & Paul… right?

Paul comes across as the guy leading his life at a high standard.  And indeed he is.  He walks the walk and talks the talk.  But even the Apostle Paul is vulnerable.  He has not gotten rid of his sinful nature, nor his desire to do bad things.

Look at Romans 7:15-18 (NIV)

15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

All over this passage and this chapter is a “super Christian” who struggles.

Bottom line, we contend with sin every week.  We struggle every week.  No week is without sin and struggle.

READ MY ARTICLES IN THIS SERIES
1.0 – My Response to “Perfect Week” Guy
2.0 – Two Keys to Getting an “A” in Recovery
3.0 – So What’s With the Perfect Check-In? (who do you think you are?)
4.0 – One Guy in Group Who Always Had a Perfect Week
5.0 – The Importance of Breaking New Ground
6.0 – “Perfect Week” Guy or The Struggler – Who Do You Learn More From?
7.0 – Can I Have a Perfect Check-in?

FEEDBACK
jeff@porntopurity.com
@porntopurity (Twitter)

The Best Sexual Addiction Recovery Psalm – 25:15

by Jeff Fisher on March 21, 2011

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bible15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

I continue to get great benefit out of Psalm 25.  It has been so helpful to me in my recovery.  This verse today is especially good.  It is a great verse of hope.  It is also a reminder to us to check to see what we have our eyes focused on.

Sexual sin ensares us. Our present behaviors.  Our past behaviors.  Our emotions.  Our wounds.  Bondage comes in many ways.  At some point the person in recovery hits a point where the snare becomes so overwhelming that he has to look to the Lord.

I enjoyed a life of fantasy and masturbation for a long time.  But in the middle of my sexual sin there is a sense of shame and failure.  Even though things feel good for a moment, the shame still came.  A sense of defeat and sorrow.  I tried to get away from my behaviors, but I kept falling back in.  Eventually, I let my lust take me into Internet porn and trying to act out my fantasies with my wife.

I did not see the snare, but it had its strong grip on me.  When I got found out, I was awakened to how ensnared I was by my addiction.  I was devastated.  All of the sudden, I had no where to go for help.

WHERE ARE MY EYES?
My eyes are not on the lord many times.  Even when I’m trying to do right and recover, my eyes are on other things.

  1. Present circumstances
  2. The mess I’ve made
  3. Consequences
  4. Temptations, triggers
  5. Our friends, our support group, our spouse
  6. Our self
  7. Our past

David’s eyes were on the Lord and he was released from the snare.  For him it was the snare of enemies.  For us it is sexual addiction.

David can be released and so can we.

PSALM 25 – READ THE WHOLE SERIES
Verse 1-3
Verses 4-5
Verses 6-7
Verses 8-10
Verse 11
Verses 12-14
Verse 15

COVENANT EYES ACCOUNTABILITY SOFTWARE
We are proud to be connected with Covenant Eyes! The best Internet filtering and accountability software on the market.  CE is a tremendous help to those of us striving for sexual purity.  CLICK HERE for a free 30-day trial of Covenant Eyes, and type in the code PURITY when you check out.  You’re Internet struggle just got easier!

The Best Sexual Addiction Recovery Psalm – 25:12-14

March 12, 2011

Thoughts today from the best recovery Psalm on fearing and respecting the the Lord.

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Top Verses For Sexual Purity Podcast – 020 – Where Evil Thoughts Come From – Matthew 15:18-19

March 9, 2011

[AUDIO:  http://traffic.libsyn.com/the104podcast/020_-_Where_Evil_Thoughts_Come_From_-_Matthew_15-18-19.mp3 ] Click HERE to download directly (right click and “Save As”) PURITY VERSE: 18 But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. Matthew 5:18-19 TODAY’S EPISODE:  Jeff [...]

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The Best Sexual Addiction Recovery Psalm – 25:11

March 3, 2011

11 For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great. I wanted to continue to share reflections from Psalm 25.  I think this is one of the best chapters in the bible for those recovering from sexual addiction.  Here is a simple verse, but it has some large takeaways. [...]

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The Best Sexual Addiction Recovery Psalm – 25:8-10

February 24, 2011

Psalm 25 reminds us today to be humble and teachable – two critical things to recovery.

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The Best Sexual Addiction Recovery Psalm – 25:6-7

February 17, 2011

Psalm 25 reminds us today that God loves, extends mercy, and is willing to forget our sins.

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The Best Sexual Addiction Recovery Psalm – 25:4-5

February 10, 2011

Psalms are a great place to camp out when you are going through the struggles of sexual recovery.  Psalm 25 is incredibly relevant for those us.  During this blog series, we’ll read through this psalm with “recovery eyes” and highlight topics that can help you and me on our journey to stay sexually pure. Psalm [...]

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