Magazines, catalogs and the newspaper circulars can be big triggers for me.
It all started when I was young. We had magazines all around our house growing up.
MAGAZINES IN THE BATHROOM
My parents would keep magazines and catalogs in the bathrooms. It was natural for me to flip through and look at pictures. At some point the women of Good Housekeeping, Family Circle, and the women’s catalogs started looking pretty to me.
I would stare, fantasize, and act out sexually with them.
AROUND THE HOUSE
We didn’t have anything pornographic around our house. There were no Playboys to be found in secret places (believe me, I checked). Most of the magazines I looked through were very soft. But the women in these magazines were pretty & sophisticated. I would also get excited about the lingerie and pantyhose ads. They became triggery for me.
THE J.C. PENNY CATALOG
Worst for me was the catalogs we had: J.C. Penny, Sears, & Mongomery Ward. Not only did they have tons of pictures of pretty women, but they had many lingerie and undergarment shots. These catalogs were probably the biggest contributor to my objectifying women, building a deep fantasy life, and struggling sexually.
THE SUNDAY CIRCULARS
The Sunday ritual around our house was to look at the paper during breakfast. The parents would read the paper and my brother and I would grab the adds. At first we were looking for toys, but on the way to the toys were more pictures of pretty models & lingerie.
It wasn’t long before looking at these women became a fixed part of my Sunday routine.
These rituals followed me well into my marriage. Magazines around the house, in the bathroom, catalogs, and the Sunday Circulars.
WORKING WITH MY WIFE
An important part of my journey toward sexual purity was me sharing these rituals with my wife. I had to tell her about my struggles in the past and present struggles around the house.
We didn’t have anything strong around our house. Nothing pornographic. But I was acting out sexually with soft magazines. They were triggery to me. I had a ritual of reading magazines in the bathroom. These things weren’t healthy.
I didn’t want to share these with my wife at first. I was embarrassed, but I also liked the rituals. I liked looking at magazines. I liked looking at pretty women. But there was no doubt it had affected me and was causing me to be impure.
These triggers had to go. I came up with a strategy that I share with Marsha.
OUR STRATEGY
- We got rid of any magazines, catalogs, books & papers that were triggery.
- Boundary: I don’t flip through any magazines when they come in the mail.
- Marsha sifts through any magazines and rips out sexy ads before they lie around the house.
- If I intercept a sexy catalog comes in the mail, I immediately throw it away on the way back into the house and tell Marsha about it. Or I give it to her to deal with.
- Marsha sifts through the Sunday circulars first.
- Marsha will keep any other magazines that she likes in her car away from me.
- We communicate about any other issues.
THURSDAY’S BLOG
On Thursday’s Porn to Purity blog, I’m going to continue talking about my present battle with this trigger. I still feel a pull to act out when I am confronted with magazines. Not all the time, but sometimes. And ocassionally the pull is strong. I want to explore this on my next blog.
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