** I’ve been taking a different approach to our Porn to Purity blog this week.  I’m reflecting on my experiences training for and running the Buffalo Marathon in 2003.  There are many parallels to being successful in our sexual purity journey.   

Perhaps this marathon metaphor will help you think about your purity journey in a different light?   

I had run for several years before I started training for a marathon.  I had run several 10k races (6.1 miles) and a couple of half marathons (13.1 miles).  So I knew a little bit about how my body reacted to big challenges.  

But there were a lot of unexpected consequences to preparing for a marathon.  I never thought I’d learn all of the places my body could hurt.  And I was surprised how long it took me to find the right balance so my body wouldn’t give out.  

  • My body would quit on me if I didn’t get enough rest.
  • My feet would hurt if my shoes were too tight.
  • My clothing would cause chaffing if I didn’t dress properly. 
  • My heart rate would get too high if I ran too fast
  • My knees and joints would have problems if I ran too much, too soon.
  • My muscles would tighten if I didn’t stretch before hand.   

If I pushed myself too hard, too soon, it would actually have a negative effect.  

RUNNING WITH “SUPER DAVE”
A good friend of mine named Dave would run with me sometimes.  He and I ran a couple of half-marathons together.  

Dave used to be in high school football, His coach’s philosophy of training was to “run as hard as you can, for as long as you can, until you can’t run any more.” 

Sounds great for the football player?  (it’s not really)  

But it’s terrible advice to follow when training for a long race.  

Dave and I pushed each other in our training.  He pushed me to be a little faster.  I pushed him to slow it down and go longer.  It was hard for both of us.  But it worked for us.  

I needed a push.  Super Dave needed to slow down. 

We both became better runners.  

OBSERVATIONS 

  • I had to become a student of my body to train successfully.
  • My body was capable of more than I expected.
  • I needed someone else around to push me. 
  • Good marathoners are constantly trying to find the balance between training and rest. 


Marathon / Sexual Addiction Posts:
1.0  – Running a Marathon on 5k Legs 
2.0 – Training For a Marathon:  3 Essentials That Will Save You
3.0 – Training For a Marathon:  Hurting in New Places & Finding Balance
4.0 – Race Day:  The Lowest Lows and the Highest Highs

Support Group Excuses – SQUASHED!

by Jeff Fisher on June 28, 2015

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Support group is such a great place to find healing from your sexual struggles.

I lead a group on Saturday here in the Raleigh, North Carolina area.  We meet from 9 – 11 am every week.  The group is  full of newbies and veterans.  All of us are working on our sexual struggles and seeking God’s help.

Don’t let excuses or wrong beliefs stop you from getting help and support.squashed_tomato

  • You’re never too old to start… we’ve had guys in their 80s start
  • You’re never too young to start… attendance requirement for our group starts at 18.  We have had several 18-24 year olds.
  • You’re never too far in your struggles to start… God will help you dig out shovel by shovel with the help of a group.
  • You’re sins are not too bad to start… we have had guys who deal with same-sex attractions, voyerism, exposure, child porn, and adultery.  God has helped them all.
  • You’re never too strong to not need support… you never master it. You get better, but always carry a vulnerability to sexual struggles.
  • You’re never too remote…  online groups are a great option for those who live far from face-to-face groups.

Need a local group?  Come to Raleigh and join us!

Need an online group? Email me at jeff@puritycoaching.com and I’ll tell you how our groups work.

** Today I’m continuing to reflect on the marathon I ran in 2003.  There are obvious applications to our sexual purity journey and sexual addiction recovery.  I’ll leave them to you to make the connection.   

Yesterday’s Blog:  “Running a Marathon on 5k Legs”

DISCIPLINE AND SACRIFICE
How can a busy person who works 40 hours a week train for a marathon?  

It’s not so bad for the guy running the 5k race.  A few sessions in the gym each week for a couple of weeks.  A little more time on the tread mill and your there.  

Not so with the marathon!  Marathon training require structure, discipline, accountability, and structure.  I had to be very intentional in my training.  

  • I had to have my goal in mind.
  • I had to start training several months back in order to build up my running.
  • I often went to the gym early in the morning.
  • I gave up my Saturday mornings to go on my long runs.
  • My family had to be supportive of me and my being out for a run.
  • I would sometimes run with a group of buddies. 
  • My body would often be sore.
  • I would have to eat right.
  • I would often be tired after my long runs and have to rest.
  • I would have to go to be early to get the rest I needed.   

Running a marathon is a great goal to have, but the personal sacrifice to get there is tremendous!  The discipline required is way more than I’m used to. 

FUEL MY BODY WITH THE RIGHT THINGS
The other thing that surprised me about preparing for a marathon were the changes to my diet.  

If I didn’t eat the right things it would affect me in my training.  I was very aware of my body and how I responded to food.  

I also had to learn to eat on the run.  When you’re running for a long distance your body can’t produce enough fuel.  So I had to learn to eat before I got hungry and drink before I got thirsty so I could continue. 

MORE OBSERVATIONS

  1. A big goal keeps me focused as I’m training for the marathon. 
  2. Marathon runners have to sacrifice a lot.
  3. Marathon runners need discipline and structure. 
  4. Others around me might have to sacrifice to help me achieve my goal.
  5. Marathon runners learn the value of rest and fueling the body. 


Marathon / Sexual Addiction Posts:
1.0  – Running a Marathon on 5k Legs 
2.0 – Training For a Marathon:  3 Essentials That Will Save You
3.0 – Training For a Marathon:  Hurting in New Places & Finding Balance
4.0 – Race Day:  The Lowest Lows and the Highest Highs

Running a Marathon on 5k Legs

by Jeff Fisher on June 27, 2015

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** This week I’m going to share my reflections of my preparation for running the Buffalo Marathon back in 2007.  As you read this series of blogs, think about your own journey toward sexual addiction recovery and how it applies to you. 

In 2007 I ran the Buffalo Marathon.  It was by far the hardest physical challenge I’ve ever attempted.  I didn’t set any records (more like 6 ½ hours) but I finished.  

I greatly overestimated my ability to finish a marathon.  I knew it would be hard, but I had no idea the time and commitment that it would take.  

As soon as I finished my first 5k race (3.1 miles) I started asking stupid questions like: 

“I wonder when I might be able to run a half marathon (13.1 miles)?”

or

“I wonder when I will be able to run my first marathon (26.2 miles)?”  

I’m a slow runner.  I run a mile in 10-12 minutes.  I’m also what the running community calls a “Clydesdale”.  That means I’m a big chunk of a man trying to lace up running shoes.  

I’m not fast, I’m not slim.  When you’re not these things, you have to rely on endurance.  I can build my body up slowly to be able to endure the race.  If I’m not going to get to the end quickly and efficiently, I will be able to get there if build up my stamina.  

My training runs eventually needed to build up to a 20 mile long run.  At my slow pace, that meant I needed to be able to run for about 5 hours!  Yikes.  So how do you do that?  

Short Answer:  You keep adding more minutes on to your long runs.  

So I run 30 minutes my first Saturday.  I run 40 minutes next Saturday.  50, then 60 and so on.  It takes a long time to build a long run up to 5 hours, but that’s the way I get there.  

The other way to be a better runner is to run faster.  Losing weight helps a person faster.  Doing speed drills helps a person run faster.  I did a little bit of both of these things, but mainly focused on endurance.  

SOME OBSERVATIONS

  1. A 5k runner is not ready for a marathon.
  2. Marathon fitness requires endurance
  3. Training for a marathon takes a lot of time


Marathon / Sexual Addiction Posts:
1.0  – Running a Marathon on 5k Legs 
2.0 – Training For a Marathon:  3 Essentials That Will Save You
3.0 – Training For a Marathon:  Hurting in New Places & Finding Balance
4.0 – Race Day:  The Lowest Lows and the Highest Highs

m8

Hi Ladies, my name is Marsha Fisher.  I’m Jeff’s wife.

If you’re the wife of a sexual struggler, it can be so hard.  Who do you talk to?  Who understands your unique pain and struggles?  Who’s has been where you are now and found God’s healing?  Where are the best resources.

I talk with wives of sexual strugglers every week.  I know your hurt.  I know how difficult it is to continue each day with this terrible burden.  I’m glad to talk with you.

I run support groups throughout the year and am preparing an online version soon.

I also coach as I have availability (I have a regular job during the week).

The best way to contact me is marsha@puritycoaching.com.

 

I’m looking forward to talking with you:

  • Phone call (preferred for US & Canada residents)
  • Skype or Webex conference (best for Internationals)

 

If you have any questions or issues: marsha@puritycoaching.com.

Help Now For Your Sexual Struggles: Mudwalking

June 19, 2015

Hey Guys – Jeff Fisher here with PorntoPurity.com and PurityCoaching.comHey Guys – Jeff Fisher here with PorntoPurity.com and PurityCoaching.com Some of you need a buddy in the trenches with you.  You don’t have anyone day in / day out to walk with you, talk with you and help you through the weight of your struggles. […]

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Help Now For Your Sexual Struggles: Accountability

June 17, 2015

Hey Guys – Jeff Fisher here with PorntoPurity.com and PurityCoaching.comSo many of us who struggle sexually don’t have any accountability.  We don’t have ANY safe person we can talk to about our struggles.  No one who is asking us the key questions we need to be asked.  We created this great program called Accountability Jumpstarts. […]

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Help Now For Your Sexual Struggles: Support Groups

June 16, 2015

Hey Guys – Jeff Fisher here with PorntoPurity.com and PurityCoaching.comSo many of us who struggle sexually are all alone, or at least we feel like it.  We don’t yet have friends we can hang out with who understand our struggles.  We have an instant solution for this.  Online & Phone support groups.  We have guys […]

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Help Now For Your Sexual Struggles: Purity Coaching

June 6, 2015

  Hey Guys – Jeff Fisher here with PorntoPurity.com and PurityCoaching.comThe heart of what I and my wife do is coach sexual strugglers and their spouses.  Coaching is not the best word.  Discipleship is.  We disciple and train strugglers to discover sexual purity and find God’s healing.  Coaching is support on all the key levels: […]

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Puke It Out!

March 27, 2015

** The author of this blog thought long and hard about including some gross pictures.  His wife thought otherwise, and we settled on this picture.  One sign that a person is ready to work on his sexual recovery is when he PUKES IT OUT.   A person comes to support group for the first time. […]

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Sexual Addiction: 2 Ways Ministers Helped Me and 5 Ways They Could Have Helped Me

March 26, 2015

My counselor asked me to share my story with a group of pastors recently.  The Pastor’s meeting was focusing on ministering to the broken and he thought my story would be helpful.  He also asked me to share how ministers helped me through my sexual addiction recovery and how they could have helped me.  Most […]

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