by Jeff Fisher on April 13, 2012
I wanted to list out some fears that I and others have about why we are afraid to share the truth about ourselves. I’m not going to address these fears in this blog, I just wanted to write down genuine fears you and I might have in not sharing.
My encouragement to you today is to make a list of your own fears. Write them down in a notebook. Get them out. Be honest with yourself about what fears you have.
Here are mine:
1. My wife / family would be devestated
2. I’m worried what people will think of me
3. I might have to change
4. I might lose my job
5. I might lose my ministry
6. I might get put in jail
7. I don’t want the pain
8. I’m not hurting anybody with my behavior
9. I don’t want to lose my freedoms
10. No one can tell me what to do
11. I don’t have any friends to share with
12. I’m all alone
13. It’s just better to lie
14. What will people think?
15. I won’t be accepted for who I am
16. My church will find out and shun me
17. People will know I’m a liar
18. People will think I’m a pervert
Let’s work on it guys and gals! Make that list of what your’e afraid of. Today’s not about answering these fears. It’s about getting your fears out on the table. Start by being truthful with yourself. Start searching for the real reasons you continue your behaviors. God wants to help us with these fears, but first we must get them out on the table.
jeff@porntopurity.com
@porntopurity on Twitter
by Jeff Fisher on March 22, 2012
by Jeff Fisher on March 2, 2012
Mike Genung’s book The Road to Grace: Finding True Freedom From the Bondage of Sexual Addiction shares his story of recovery of sexual sin and many of the lessons he’s learning about sexual addiction recovery. In the appendix of his book, his wife Michelle shares her own encouragement to wives of sexual addicts.
- 1. Your husband’s porn/sex addiction is not your fault.
2. Don’t allow your husband to treat you like a prostitute.
Trust your instincts. – Your gut feeling that something is wrong is probably true. Be very careful how you act on your instincts.
4. Get other women in your corner. – Not to gang up on your husband, but to support you.
5. If you get a bad egg, drop it and look for a good one. – read this carefully… if you reach out to the wrong person for help, get a bad counselor, minister or friend, keep looking.
6. Get in his corner.
7. Don’t look for comfort in the wrong places. – Like chatrooms or the arms of another man
8. Seek healing for the deep wounds in your heart. – Work on your own side of things and your own wounds.
9. Make the Lord your first love.
10. Forgive your husband.
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Read Jeff’s Book Review of The Road to Grace – HERE
6 Reasons We Should Tell Our Wives About Our Sexual Struggles (Tues)
The Blessings of Masturbation & The Other Side of the Coin (Wed)
Big Recovery Tip: Connect With the Grace of God (Thurs)
Tips For Wives of Sexual Addicts (Fri)
CONTACT
jeff@porntopurity.com
@porntopurity on Twitter
by Jeff Fisher on March 1, 2012
Mike Genung’s book The Road to Grace: Finding True Freedom From the Bondage of Sexual Addiction shares his story of recovery of sexual sin and many of the lessons he’s learning about sexual addiction recovery. In a great chapter called “God of Grace” he walks through scripture and shows how God’s grace was shared with:
- Adam & Eve (Gen. 2:8-10)
- Cain (Gen. 4)
- Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen. 18)
- Rahab (Joshua 2)
- Manasseh (II Chron. 33:1-7)
- Peter (Luke 22; John 21)
Then he reminds us of the way the bible presents the grace of God:
- God gives us His best.
- His grace outshines our most wretched sin.
- His love cannot be earned or deserved.
- Our sin doesn’t stop God from loving us.
- God’s grace doesn’t nullify His holiness or remove the consequences of sin.
- The Lord patiently meets us where we are, even if we’re in a mud hole.
- God gently restores the broken.
- God showers His love on the sexually broken.
- God seeks those who are lost.
- We have a choice how we will see God.
- We can approach Him, no matter what we’ve done or how ashamed we feel.
(Adapted from The Road to Grace, pp. 143-162)
—
Read Jeff’s Book Review of The Road to Grace – HERE
6 Reasons We Should Tell Our Wives About Our Sexual Struggles (Tues)
The Blessings of Masturbation & The Other Side of the Coin (Wed)
Big Recovery Tip: Connect With the Grace of God (Thurs)
Tips For Wives of Sexual Addicts (Fri)
CONTACT
jeff@porntopurity.com
@porntopurity on Twitter
by Jeff Fisher on February 29, 2012
Mike Genung’s book The Road to Grace: Finding True Freedom From the Bondage of Sexual Addiction shares his story of recovery of sexual sin and many of the lessons he’s learning about sexual addiction recovery. He has a great chart in the book on the blessings and other side of masturbation.
THE BLESSINGS OF MASTURBATION
- It feels good for a few seconds.
- I can have an orgasm.
- I can do it alone.
- I don’t need to please my wife.
- I can feed my sexual desires all I want.
- I can deal with my urges when they hit.
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN
- The loneliness, emptiness and shame last a lot longer than the fun part.
- Promotes the instant gratification (“all about me”) way of life.
- No connection, bonding or warmth with another person.
- The spouse is robbed emotionally and physically.
- Self-absorption and sex-obsession develops.
- Violates the principle in God’s word that we are not to be mastered by our urges.
- Violates the “marriage only” context of God’s word.
- Violates the “comfort of Christ” principle in God’s word.
- Separation from God.
- Masturbation softens and warps the character.
- Masturbation is used as a false coping mechanism for dealing with life.
- Masturbation is often used with pornography and sexual fantasy, which is clearly sin.
(Adapted from The Road to Grace, pp. 85-86)
—
Read Jeff’s Book Review of The Road to Grace – HERE
6 Reasons We Should Tell Our Wives About Our Sexual Struggles (Tues)
The Blessings of Masturbation & The Other Side of the Coin (Wed)
Big Recovery Tip: Connect With the Grace of God (Thurs)
Tips For Wives of Sexual Addicts (Fri)
CONTACT
jeff@porntopurity.com
@porntopurity on Twitter
