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Sexy dreams are something unavoidable during our sexual purity journey. We’re in a battle. We’re fighting for purity. We’re contending with our lust. It’s a conscious battle that sometimes spills into our unconscious.
It shouldn’t surprise us that we have sexy dreams. In the past, we’ve lusted with our eyes, objectified, fantasized about sex, starred at porn and had sexual encounters with others. All of these memories swim around in our brain and can affect our dream state. Even if we’ve stopped our behaviors, the memories are still there.
Some sexy dreams come during stressful periods, times where we’re feeling the struggle.
Sexy dreams may come when we’re in need. We might need touch, affirmation, valued, or a desire for companionship. When we need connections with other people and with God, those are times I’ve noticed my dreams can be sexy.
We might have sexy dreams after a great encounter with our spouse. When I bask in the glow it might troll up some garbage.
Sexy dreams are confusing. They feel real. They may evoke a wet dream. They elicit feelings of excitement, fear, confusion, guilt or shame. They may be accompanied by talking in your sleep or masturbating in your sleep.
ENCOURAGEMENTS
Don’t beat yourself up over them. We’re not responsible for what we do in our unconscious state. It’s not the same as conscious, willfully sinning.
Know that sexy dreams will happen. They’re a part of your struggle, sin nature, and the process of renewing your mind.
Sexy dreams probably have to do with a struggle. Check yourself. Check your emotions. Make sure you’re fighting the battle effectively.
Check the lust flow. What have you been looking at or thinking about and daydreaming about? Is anything that needs to be cut?
Is there something that needs healing? Ask God to give you insight about your dreams. Go back. Maybe you have an attraction or an emotional attachment that needs to be broken. Ask God to fill that place in your heart with your spouse or Himself.
Pray before you go to bed. Ask God to be Lord of your unconscious. God wants us to surrender this part of us over to Him too.
Control the things you can control. Work on the things you open the door to. What do you watch, look at during the day, day dream about? What do you meditate on? Make sure you’re meditating on the good, holy, and pure (Phil. 4:8).
Realize this is a process. Your mind is being transformed and made holy. You’re somewhere on this journey. You’re not going to have a perfect unconscious and perfect sleep all the time.
Visit a counselor. You may have damage and a need for healing. Counselors are trained in matters of the heart. They can help you explore your dreams more, and the needs in your conscious life.
Bring it out and talk about it with a friend. Bring light to your dreams. Don’t keep them secret and hidden. When we internalize it the struggle becomes worse. You don’t have to talk about the details, but you saying, “I had a sexy dream and it’s carrying over into my day and I don’t want it to be this way.” Helps a lot.
Sexy dreams can be frustrating, shameful and scary. But dreams might be springboards for finding experiencing a deeper relationship with God and a deeper level of purity.
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