sexual addiction recovery

Top Tip 005 – Close The Loopholes

by Jeff Fisher on January 19, 2012

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We have to close the loopholes in our sexual purity strategy.  Can’t be any holes that we know about.

None of us are going to have a perfect strategy.  We can’t see everything or anticipate everything.  Others around us who are involved with us, even they can’t catch everything.  We can’t intercept all of the temptations and triggers.  There are some that we haven’t even thought about.  There are triggers internal and external that we haven’t anticipated yet.  Plus there are new people that come into our life, and new places we will go – THIS YEAR that we will have to plan for.  Our strategies are going to change.

For sure we’re going to have problems if there are loopholes in our current purity strategy.  Where are the gaps?  Find the gaps and close the loopholes in your strategy?

First, some examples of loopholes…

Computer Gaps
No filter on my computer.  No accountability software.  My computer is hidden.  I have a password, but I know how to get around it.  Know how to clearn the cache, history.  My wife doesn’t look at the history bar even though I told her she can look at any time.

Are there any known loopholes in your computer strategy?

Phones / Wireless Devices
It’s the same thing for our Smart Phones, Tablets, and I-Pod devices.  How easy is it for you to go searching or download content that is trigger?

Movies / DVDs / Magazines
Are there movies that trip you up at a weak moment of vulnerability.  When you get vulnerable is there stuff that you can go to immediately.  That’s a loophole in your strategy.

We can go past our boundaries at any time.  No matter how good your strategy is you can sin if you want.  If we have a good strategy in place it creates good distance between you and acting out.  It puts more hoops for you to jump through.  Makes it harder for you to act out because you have layers, accountability, protection.

Relationships With the Opposite Sex, including those at work
Who are you hanging out with?  Are you pushing the boundaries with women or guys?  What about that girl at work?  Do you have some boundaries drawn up, or are you flirting around?  Do you go out to lunch with a person of the opposite sex by yourself?  Do you flirt around with a married man?

Travel
This is one of the most unguarded times for us in our sexual struggles.  We don’t have accountability.  We are away from our normal settings.  We are alone.  We are bored in a hotel room in a foreign city.  That’s a recipe for disaster.

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Again, you can’t predict ever scenario, but are you trying to close the loopholes as they come up?  Are you taking aggressive measures to preserve your purity and swim in the right lane?

START WORKING ON A STRATEGY
The first thing you might need to do is get a purity strategy.  Maybe you don’t have one yet.  You have to put a purity plan together.

I have a lot of favorite podcasts.  Ones that are definitely in my top 10 are:

Build a Good Defense – Top Tips, Season 1, Episode 41

Build a Good Offense – Top Tips, Season 1, Episode 42

Those podcast go into greater detail about developing your purity strategy.  Go check them out.  But briefly…

Defensive – roadblocks, what defense line do I have set up between me and acting out?  What roadblocks do I have to jump over in order to act out.

Offensive strategy – healthy behaviors that you are cultivating.  Me building my relationship with my wife, counseling, marriage conference, meaningful conversations, non-sexual touch with spouse, serving her, meeting her needs.  Getting a good hobby.

Build your strategy, and make sure the holes are plugged up.

SHINE THE LIGHT ON YOUR LOOPHOLE
Recognizing a loophole a major step.  But if I want to repair a loophole, I’m convinced I need to bring someone else into it.  Recovery is a team sport.  I can do OK by myself, maybe.  I can definitely do better with someone by my side.

When I talk about my loopholes with my counselor, a friend or a guy in my small group, I am bringing light to it.  I am walking in truth and practicing confession.  It may be a loophole that I’ve slipped though before or it may not be, but speaking it out about it is an invitation to intimacy and brotherhood.

The more intimate the relationship, the stronger I will be after I share my loophole.  If I talk about a flirty girl at work to my best friend, we have a serious talk about it.  If I talk about the flirty girl with my wife, we have another level of conversation.  It will definitely escalate the seriousness in my attitude when my wife is involved.

Do you get the point?  I picked this tip up from a pastor friend of mine who got into an emotional affair with his secretary and kissed her.  Believe me, when he told his wife, that relationship at work was over.

Our cases don’t have to be that extreme, but when I talk to a trusted friend or my wife about something that is pulling me or tripping me up, it invites them to join me on a deeper level.

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101 – What are the loopholes that you know about right now?  What are you going to do about it?  Develop a strategy.

Beyond – Who do you have who is involved in your strategy?  Are you accountable?  When a new temptation or trigger comes along, who do you talk to about it?

CONTACT INFO
jeff@porntopurity.com
@porntopurity on Twitter

Call-in voicemail line line:  (321) 5-PURITY

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A Covenant With My Eyes – Job 31:1

by Jeff Fisher on January 17, 2012

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Job 31:1 “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.”

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Job is an Old Testament book we probably  don’t read very often or maybe never have read.  Job was a very righteous guy.  He had a serious commitment to living out his righteousness and living out a pure life before God.

In the context of this verse and this chapter, a lot of bad things have happened to Job.  His friends have come to him and said that if you were really righteous these things would not happen to you.  Job is defending himself in this chapter.  He’s taking an inventory of his life saying, “I haven’t sinned here, or here, or here.  God is not punishing me for my sins.”  He now comes to chapter 31 and says, “I haven’t sinned with my eyes either.”

Job is so focused on God and engaged, he could say that his eyes were pure.  He had not looked lustfully with his eyes.  Wow!

Lust was not something Job wanted to have a part of.  He didn’t want it to characterize his life or trip him up.  He has obviously taken some proactive measures to shore up his eyes and mind.  He made a “covenant”

What is a covenant?

THE IMPORTANCE OF A COVENANT
A covenant is a coming together.  It’s a solemn agreement between two parties.  Job knew that his eyes could trip him up.  He took action beforehand.  He wanted his will to become one with his eyes.

Job was a married guy.  This commitment to God was also a commitment to his wife.

Job brought his eyes in submission to his will, first with an agreement.

I’ve noticed in my own life when I make a commitment, a promise or write something down it has a better chance of sticking in my life.  Commitments make me stronger and more aware.

I still have to choose to live by this covenant daily.  Job walked daily in this covenant.  He stayed engaged in his mission to be righteous and to be a good representative of God.

INTEGRITY
What’s amazing is that now he’s called into question.  “Where have you sinned Job?” is the question his friends are asking.   He can say with integrity he didn’t sin.

If I was called into question about my sin and about my eyes, I certainly couldn’t say this.  I messed up today and yesterday.  What day don’t I mess up?  I guess I figured with all of my recovery work and intensity I would get to a point where looking lustfully at a girl wouldn’t be a problem.  But it is a problem.  I recognize that God has hardwired me to be attracted to the opposite sex. He has made me a visual person.  And my eyes are a part of my life that I have chosen to take in an unhealthy direction… many times.  I’ve had two and a half decades of looking lustfully at a woman.  It’s going to take me a while to get to where Job is.  It hasn’t come instantaneously.

Job’s not a perfect guy.  It’s not that he didn’t sin.  Of course he did.  But he was not ignorant about his life and his behaviors.  He kept his sins and failings up-to-date.  He kept his eyes in check.

I can feel God calling me to make a solemn covenant with my eyes so I can be better in this area.

We think our eye battle is a battle that can’t be won.  We think it’s too hard.  We think there is too much temptation.  We believe everyone looks, everyone objectifies, and after all, I’m a guy, and that’s what guys do.

Job proves this thinking wrong.

LOOKING LUSTFULLY IS THE PROBLEM
I’m also reminded that the look is not the problem.  Looking lustfully is the problem.  Coveting. Objectifying.  Fantacizing.  Trying to work it out so you can touch the woman.

GOD’S VERY HIGH STANDARD
This verse reminds us of God’s high standard.  He wants us to not look lustfully.  This high standard is right up there with Ephesians 5:3 which commands us to not even have a “hint of sexual immorality” in us.

RECOVERY PRINCIPLES

  1. God wants us to be pure with our eyes.  It’s possible with God’s power.
  2. Our eyes are not going to get pure by themselves.  We have to be very intentional.  We have to engage our eyes.
  3. We need to work toward healthy looks and healthy relationships with women.

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Jeff Fisher lives in Raleigh, NC.  He and his wife run the site www.porntopurity.com, a site designed to offer hope, encouragement and resources to those who are affected by sexual sin. Checkout Jeff’s podcasts on I-Tunes:  Top Tips For Sexual Purity, Top Verses For Sexual Purity, and For Ministers Who Struggle.

Tips on Avoiding Immorality and Controlling Your Body – I Thess. 4:3-5

by Jeff Fisher on January 10, 2012

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I Thessalonians 4:3-5 “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified.  That you should avoid sexual immorality.  That each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable not in passionate lusts like the heathen who don’t know God.”

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Some of the verses that we look at for Top Verses For Sexual Purity are principle verses.  They don’t directly speak to sexual immorality, our bodies, adultery or lust.  They will be principle verses.  Not this one.  This speaks very directly about your sexuality and about God’s expectations.  It’s aimed at us who are trying to be sexually pure.

GOD’S WILL IS SEXUAL PURITY
I like how direct Paul is in telling us He doesn’t like sexual immorality.  Sometimes we need to soak in the truth of God’s Word.  We need to be taught or reminded that God does want us to have anything to do with sexual immorality.  It’s not that God is anti-sex – He’s very much pro-sex.  But He calls us to His high and holy standard for our sexuality.

Sometimes I realize I’ve lost sight of His holy standards.  I start thinking my behaviors are OK.  I start thinking that it’s Ok to start hanging out in a sexually immoral environment.  I start crossing boundaries and lines and I start acting out sexually.  I know I’m deep back into the struggle/ bondage when these things happen.  A place I don’t want to be.

Let’s break the verse down a little bit.

SANCTIFIED
Sanctified is a  big word.  It means “set aside”.  It’s God’s will that I should be set aside.  Set aside to holiness, not to wickedness like the world.

NOT LIKE THE HEATHEN
God wants us above sexual immorality.  Our culture is very sexually immoral.  We’re to stay as far away from that as possible.

THE IMPORTANCE OF AVOIDING
My sexual purity’s not going to happen on its own.  It’s not an automatic thing.  Sinning and doing my own will is automatic.  I have to be engaged and take steps to avoid sexual immorality.  I need to take action when it comes to people, places, influences, media and TV.  I have to identify the things around me and in my life that are sexually immoral and go the opposite direction.  That means I need to have a good plan.  I need to develop a strategy for avoiding.

CONTROL YOUR OWN BODY
This is my struggle right here – learning to control my body.  I don’t easily want to give up.  It means that I have to surrender.

A friend of mine told me that anytime I am struggling with a verse or struggling to be obedient or wrestling with a concept, it means there’s a part of me that I don’t want to give up.  There’s a part of me that still needs to surrender to God, and He still has to work on that area. Learning to control my body is a process.  It takes time.  I’ve got to set up boundaries.  I’ve got to set up roadblocks.  The temptations are going to come.

I can avoid a lot of sexual situations, but I can very easily be sexual with myself privately.  There are things I have to stay away from, but then privately I have to “learn to control my own body”.

CONTROLLING MY BODY IS POSSIBLE!  YEAH!
One thing I almost missed in this verse is that God said it is possible for me to learn to control my body.  He wouldn’t say in the Scripture that it was His will if it wasn’t possible.  Again, it’s not possible through my power but by God’s.  Isn’t it great to know that I can learn to control my body.  I might need the help of others, and I might need some mentorship and discipleship, but what a cool thing.  I can actually get there.  It’s a process, and it might take a long time, but we can get there.

DON’T LIVE LIKE ANIMALS
Verse 5 underscores the call to sexual purity.  “Don’t be caught up in “passionate lusts like the heathen who do not know God.  Those guys live like animals.  They live on animal instinct.  They’re under its control.  But we are not to live like animals.  We’re not to live on our own whims and instincts.  We can be under God’s control.  It’s really good to know that we don’t have to be slaves to our bodies and its urges.  We can get to a point in our sexual purity journey where we can control them.  We may be out of whack right now and not healthy.  We may need some serious discipline and some serious sobriety from a behavior, but we can get there.

RECOVERY PRINCIPLES

1.  We have to be intentional about avoiding things.  We have to have a blacklist of people, places and things that we avoid.

2.  We can control our bodies.  It’s possible and God can help us to get there.

3.  Controlling our bodies is a learned process.   We need other people in the process to help us get there.

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Jeff Fisher lives in Raleigh, NC.  He and his wife run the site www.porntopurity.com, a site designed to offer hope, encouragement and resources to those who are affected by sexual sin. Checkout Jeff’s podcasts on I-Tunes:  Top Tips For Sexual Purity, Top Verses For Sexual Purity, and For Ministers Who Struggle.

Our Purity Mission Summed Up in One Verse – Ephesians 5:3

by Jeff Fisher on January 3, 2012

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“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”

Ephesians 5:3

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I was awakened to this verse when I read Every Man’s Battle by Fred Stoeker and Stephen Arterburn, an essential book for any of us seeking to be sexually purity.  Ephesians 5:3 is the theme verse for Every Man’s Battle, and it’s become the theme verse for my own sexual purity journey.  It sums up my personal purity mission.

“No hint of sexual immorality” is the big goal we need to have in our sexual purity journies.  There are other sins and worldly pursuits mentioned in this passage but sexual immorality stands out the most for me.

If you read Ephesians Chapter 5 you’ll see that Paul calls the us to be above the world (v.1).  Don’t be like the world.  Don’t imitate the people in the world and their ways.  Instead, imitate God.

Let’s look at the phrase “not even a hint”. I wish that it didn’t say it like this.  I would like to allow a “hint” of sexual immorality every once in a while.  Do you ever feel like that?

I may allow for it in my standards, but there’s no place for it in God’s standards.  My standards are sub-par and usually have to do with stopping behaviors I don’t like anymore.  But God has something different for me, something deeper.  He wants me to be pure.  Period.  Completely pure.  No hint of sexual immorality.

God broadens his call to purity when he adds “or of any kind of impurity”. There are impurities I allow into my life that are not necessarily sexual.  God is trying to tell me “don’t be stained by the world.” He pounds this truth again when he reminds me I’m one of “God’s holy people”.

As I’ve wrestled with this verse in my sexual purity journey, I’ve had a couple of sincere questions to God.

QUESTION #1:  IS THIS REALLY POSSIBLE?
I think the answer is “no”, not with us… not when it comes to having no hint of sexual immorality or impurity.  It has to come from God.  He leads us in this direction and will provide for us.

I think the problem I have (and many of us have) is that I really don’t believe this scripture.  I know it in my mind, but I don’t believe it in my heart.  I don’t think it’s achievable.  I think there must be some other understanding of this verse.

Just because I haven’t had sustained victory in an area like masturbation, adultery or lustful thoughts doesn’t mean that it’s not God’s standard.  Also, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be done.  There must be a faith component to this verse.  I know that nothing’s impossible for God, but my heart is not always there yet.

Early in my recovery, I wished that sexual purity would come my way instantly.  I wanted magic.  I wanted to go from struggling to having no struggles.  I wanted my sexual problems to disappear instantly.  I kept looking for God to wave His magic wand over me and it would be easy.  It never worked out that way.

This verse reminds me how much I need God for my sexual purity journey, and how impossible it is for me.

QUESTION #2:  WHY WOULD GOD IMPOSE THIS ON ME?
I felt like God was being cruel by asking this of me.  I believed I needed sex and sexual stimulation in order to be OK and have my needs met.  I thought I needed to have an orgasm to be fulfilled and take the edge off.  I thought sexual satisfaction was a part of being a man.

When I got honest with God, I would pout, “Why can’t I have just a little bit of sexual stimulation?  Don’t you know that I need it?  Don’t you know that I can’t live without sex?”

This was one of the many lies I believed about sex.  My heart was deceived.  I convinced myself that having sex and having orgasms were basic needs for any man.

I was angry that God was calling me to a higher standard.  I didn’t like it.  I liked my standard.  I liked what I was already doing.  I liked my “drug of choice”.  I liked to be able to masturbate, look at Internet pornography and objectify women.

THE PATH TOWARD HEALTHY SEXUALITY
I didn’t realize it until my recovery began I had never experienced healthy sexuality.  I thought I was healthy when I would stop looking at porn or stop masturbating.  But health was more than sobriety and stopping bad behaviors.

Ephesians 5:3 calls me to trust God with my sexuality and surrender it to Him.  It becomes a matter of faith.  Do I believe God’s Word is true?  Do I believe that His standard is the best?  Am I willing to obey and adopt His standard as my own?

KEY PURITY PRINCIPLES

  1. God calls us to the highest standard of sexual purity.
  2. Sexual purity is impossible without God’s power.  The desire to be pure pushes us toward God.
  3. Sexual purity goes against the flow.  We’re not going to be like the world and like our buddies any more.  It’s all about being holy people and imitators of God.

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Jeff Fisher lives in Raleigh, NC.  He and his wife run the site www.porntopurity.com, a site designed to offer hope, encouragement and resources to those who are affected by sexual sin. Checkout Jeff’s podcasts on I-Tunes:  Top Tips For Sexual Purity, Top Verses For Sexual Purity, and For Ministers Who Struggle.

Book Review: Becoming a Man of Valor by Dr. Mark Laaser

by Jeff Fisher on January 3, 2012

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MEN OF VALOR SERIES

BOOK 3:  BECOMING A MAN OF VALOR
http://www.faithfulandtrueministries.com/products-page/bookstore/becoming-a-man-of-valor/

The third book in Dr. Mark Laaser’s Men of Valor series Becoming a Man of Valor is different from the first two in his series.  He wants us to think about our core and what drives us.  He suggests that this book be used meditatively by asking three key questions:

#1 – Do you want to get well?

#2 – What are you thirsty for?

#3 – Are you willing to die to yourself

Each question comes from New Testament encounters Jesus had with individuals.  Jesus took these people deeper.  His focus wasn’t on their “perceived” needs, but on their core needs.

The three questions are pivotal to the author’s own counseling practice.  “I can’t really work with addicts successfully until they grapple with and answer well the three simple questions in this book.” (12)

Preceeding each key question, the author shares the bible passage attached to it, and offers commentary on each of the verses.

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LISTEN TO JEFF INTERVIEW DR. LAASER ABOUT THIS BOOK
Becoming a Man of Valor – MP3 (listen or “save as”)

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QUESTION #1:  DO YOU WANT TO GET WELL?
The story of Jesus healing the man at the pool of Bethesda from John 5:1-9 brings us this question.  The man had been hanging around the healing pool for 38 years.  Jesus goes for the man’s motivation.

The author wants us to think about our own sicknesses, hang-ups, and addictions.  “What is your sickness?” the author asks the reader.  Are we double-minded?  Are we willing to do what it takes to get be well?

“There are many men who come to see me for counseling, and they want to get well…. It’s truly amazing how zealous they can be…. A part of the problem is that when these men first come in, they are usually motivated by external factors…. The external fears wear off, however, and now they are left with their internal motivation.”  (31)

External motivation only lasts for a season.  Lasting change comes when we are deeply motivated on the inside.  We have to find the courage from God to ask for help.

 

QUESTION #2:  WHAT ARE YOU THIRSTY FOR?
The author spends three chapters discussing this question.  He uses the story of Jesus meeting the immoral Samaritan woman at the well found in John 4:1-26.  Jesus addresses the woman’s “heart need” when he moves the conversation from being physically thirsty to spiritually thirsty.

“The fundamental truth Jesus is teaching is that in the human heart there is a thirst for something that only he can satisfy.” (44)

This is the deepest section of the book.  The author says we are constantly trying to medicate our soul’s thirst with coping substances (sex, coffee, drugs, nicotine) and coping behaviors (adventure, relationships, watching TV, daydreaming).  Even with large amounts of these substances or behaviors, our hearts are still left thirsty.

To give greater understanding to our real needs, the author borrows from his other book Seven Desires of Every Heart to help us understand what our hearts really need.  He walks us through several helpful exercises to discover our true needs.

I felt like I was in a private session with Dr. Laaser when I was reading these chapters.  I believe this section alone is worth the small price of the book (and probably 5 counseling sessions).

 

QUESTION #3:  ARE YOU WILING TO DIE TO YOURSELF?
The story of Mary and Martha in John 11:1-43 helps us consider the third question.  Lazarus, their brother, died.  The sisters were out of options and had given up hope.  They believed in Jesus’ healing power, but they felt it was too late for Lazarus to be saved. If Jesus had only been there earlier things would be different.

The author counsels the reader, saying there are parts of us like pride, arrogance, anger, shame and anxiety that we have to let go of to see God work.

“Answering yes to this question means that you are willing to give up your unhealthy attempts to quench your thirst and discovery what really matters.” (99)

This is the only chapter of Becoming a Man of Valor where I thought the Scripture used was a stretch.  I expected the author to use one of several Scriptures relating to the cost of discipleship, like the story of the Rich Young Ruler (Luke 18:18-23).

My biggest takeaway, as I pondered this question, was the importance of surrender.  I do not always know what’s best for me or my situation.  I jump to conclusions, I overestimate my abilities, and I can easily give up hope when life blows up.  It’s important that I surrender my control over to God and let him be my Resurrection and Life.

 

TIME TO REREAD THIS BOOK
When I read this book again, I will go slowly through it, and take time with these questions.  I think I’ll end up spending time on Question 2 “What are you thirsty for?”  It’s hard to know exactly what I need to “die to”, surrender and heal from if I don’t know what I’m thirsty for, and the unhealthy ways I’m trying to satisfy my thirst.

 

A WORD OF THANKS
I was amazed when he closed his Taking Every Thought Captive book with this statement:

“An author reaches a point, I think, in which he feels that he has said everything he wants to say on a certain topic.  I have the satisfying feeling that I have done so in this book.”  (119)

As I read these books in succession, I felt like Dr. Laaser I was at my side, as a  cheerleader, a counselor, and a friend.  He was trying to write out the best help he has gathered to help me on my journey as a man and as a recovering sexual struggler.

Thanks, Dr. Laaser for pouring your experience soul into these three books.

 

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS FOR DR. LAASER

BOOK 3 – Becoming a Man of Valor

  • How did the 3 questions come about?  A sermon series?  Books?  Your personal teachings?
  • In your counseling, how do you take counselees through these 3 questions?
  • Why do people stall at the first question “Do you want to get well?”  The answer seems so obvious.
  • You spend a lot of time on Question #2 “What are you thirsty for?” is this where the bulk of the work is?
  • What keeps us from discovering our thirst?
  • In Chapters 3 & 4, you draw from your teachings from Seven Desires of the Heart.  What insights have you learned about the 7 desires since you originally wrote the Seven Desires book?
  • Die to self – I thought you would go directly for the Cost of Discipleship verses.
  • What clicks in a person that finally brings him to surrender?

4 PODCAST INTERVIEWS WITH DR. LAASER

#1  General Questions and Introduction to the Man of Valor Series – MP3 (listen or “save as”)

#2  Seven Principles of Highly Accountable Men – MP3 (listen or “save as”)

#3  Taking Every Thought Captive – MP3 (listen or “save as”)

#4  Becoming a Man of Valor – MP3 (listen or “save as”)

 

MEET DR. MARK LAASER

Dr. Mark Laaser is an internationally known author and speaker who has written several books, including Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction, Talking to Your Kids About Sex, and The Pornography Trap.  He and his wife Debbie started Faithful and True Ministries to counsel couples healing from sexual addiction.

www.faithfulandtrueministries.com

 

Book Review: Taking Every Thought Captive by Dr. Mark Laaser

December 27, 2011

MEN OF VALOR SERIES BOOK 2:  TAKING EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE http://www.faithfulandtrueministries.com/products-page/bookstore/taking-every-thought-captive/ The second book in Dr. Mark Laaser’s Men of Valor series Becoming a Man of Valor hovers around a big challenge for guys:  developing a godly thought life. The author definitely deals with curbing immoral sexual thoughts in the book, but he’s quick to [...]

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Book Review: The Seven Principles of Highly Accountable Men by Dr. Mark Laaser

December 20, 2011

MEN OF VALOR SERIES BOOK 1:  THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES OF HIGHLY ACCOUNTABLE MEN http://www.faithfulandtrueministries.com/products-page/bookstore/the-seven-priniciples-of-highly-accountable-men/ It would be cruel if I reviewed this book and didn’t list the seven principles for you, so here they are: Accountability begins with brokenness, confession and repentance. Accountability requires your being able to talk about your feelings and needs. Accountability [...]

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Resource: Prodigals International and Great Reading List

July 13, 2011

Marsha and I are constantly finding good resources and websites for sexual strugglers, their spouses, and for churches. When you get a chance, check out Prodigals International. FROM THEIR ABOUT PAGE Since its beginning in 2000, Prodigals’ International and its Homecoming Program has helped and supported hundreds of men achieve freedom from the bonds of [...]

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Sexual Addiction Resource: Bethesda Workshops

July 11, 2011

WEBSITE:  http://www.bethesdaworkshops.org/ I continue to hear good things about Bethesda. People who are finding healing from sexual addiction.  Check them out.  They offer help for men, women, spouses, and couples who struggle with sexual addiction. The mission of Bethesda Workshops is to encourage sexual wholeness by ministering to those damaged by sexual sin and addiction. We [...]

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5 Things I’m Learning in Recovery That Blow My Mind

June 2, 2011

Recovering from my sexual sin has a mind blowing process.  I thought the goal of my recovery was to stop my bad behaviors.  Far from it!  God has been turning lights on and teaching me things that I never expected. I wanted to share 5 big ones with you.  There are more, but these are [...]

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10 Essentials For Those New to Recovery From Sexual Sin

May 12, 2011

I want to offer some top tips for you who are new to recovery.  These are lessons I’ve had to struggle through in my own recovery, but I find them to be universal with most guys who want freedom from sexual sin. 1.  The quicker you go to counseling the better. Sexual sin is MUCH [...]

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